Get The Financial Sadness Out Of You

Article By: Hillary D Price
During my financial fall, I spent many days and evenings at home. Of course, I was depressed, sad and scared about the future. I felt paralyzed with sheer terror of having to spend money (I did not have). I made excuses not to be with friends or family. Truly, I wanted to see them, but I felt crippled by not having money to pay my bills. So, instead, I spent hours reading and watching depressing or sad movies. It was a great way to feel sorry for myself without having to admit that I was crying for my situation.

As individuals, we handle our emotional issues differently. For some, it may be a crying jag against a loved one's shoulder, and for others, it is stoic silence. However, crying, or tear production, does assist in working through emotional problems. You may have heard of the expression, "To cry it out helps a person feel better." Scientific studies have found that after crying, people actually do feel better -both physically and physiologically-and feel worse when suppressing tears.

Culturally and socially we are conditioned to believe feeling sadness is wrong. It is important to be sad and to let it out. I know no one wants to sit and cry for themselves especially in front of other people. I emphasize, too, that both men and women should cry.

Many triggers worked for me, including television commercials about mistreated animals or starving children. Books or movies about loss of love can also trigger sadness. Remember Meggie's and Father Ralph's forbidden love in The Thorn Birds or Rick Schroder's performance as a young boy crying for his boxer father played by Jon Voight in The Champ?

One of the wonderful things about crying because of a book or movie, or even a commercial, is that you are crying for someone other than yourself. You may also recall a song from Sesame Street (written by Carol Hall) titled It's all right to cry? where she wrote that Feelings are such real things, and they change and change and change. How true!

Depression, despair, powerlessness, grief and fear are emotions which zap energy, drive and motivation. Most of us do not even want to get out of bed when we feel any of these. For me my will just seemed completely gone.

I believe there is a loss of self, loss of identity and loss of vision when you experience these emotions. You need to grieve for your financial loss.

Plenty of famous actors and celebrities have suffered depression, sometimes from financial losses, and other reasons. Elton John had a couple bouts of depression, from bulimia and drug use, and Princess Diana's death. Mike Wallace, of 60 Minutes, suffered severe depression after being sued for libel in 1984. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who walked on the moon in 1969, suffered depression after his return from the moon, and was hospitalized. Physicist Stephen Hawking was depressed after being diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease. Marie Osmond suffered from post-partum depression, as did Brooke Shields and Princess Diana.

Give yourself time to go through the stages of personal loss or grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This mental emotional state does not allow us to allocate many resources for taking action. It is very important you allow yourself to just feel. This is the time where all you can expect is to maintain some semblance of your daily routine. Routine is key.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WRONG FEELING OR EMOTION.

Our feelings are intended to guide us towards a greater good. If you are in a state of depression or feel that you are suicidal please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

I have counseled many people over the past 10 years, and even though you might be in this emotional state, remember motivational speaker Anthony Robbin's words: "If you are committed there is always a way."

If you were walking up the stairs towards your destination, but fell down a few steps to the bottom stair, presuming you were not hurt, you would get up, shake your head, and continue back up the stairs to your destination. It is in our nature to continue on. You may not want to hear that you have to try again, but it really is that simple.

A full recovery takes time, healing and counseling. No one can tell you exactly what it will take for you to regain your center, but you will.

DO NOT RUSH INTO ACTION

Take the time necessary to feel your sadness. Be patient with yourself, let go of the past. Release yourself of future expectations and allow yourself time to heal so you can take on those challenges when you are in a positive state of mind.

See my website for a FREE guide to help you start on your emotional healing so you can also heal financially. Visit our website for your FREE Seven Step Guide to Financial Recovery. See my bio for a link to our website.

Hillary D. Price is a financial counselor and coach, author, and entrepreneur in Southern California. Her innovative and in-demand "Make Dollars and Cents with Emotions" course is available at http://www.hdpriceinc.com. Private counseling available by appointment only. 888-769-7714, Fax 888-380-9876, info@hdpriceinc.com. [Source]